Delaying divorce may not protect the interests of the children | Lane & Lane, LLC
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Delaying divorce may not protect the interests of the children

The effects of a divorce on children have been the subject of many studies. Recent researchers have taken a different approach by asking the opinions of children. It is not uncommon for couples in New Jersey and other states to delay divorce action for reasons that often relate to their children. Some parents choose to wait until their children are older while others put it off until after the holidays.

While the best interests of the children are to be considered during a divorce, staying in an unhappy marriage may not serve the best interests of the children. In fact, the survey indicated that children would prefer their parents to separate rather than endure unhappiness at home. The majority of the polled children and young people from separated families said they would recommend that parents avoid staying together for the sake of the children.

Some suggest that a divorce has a less damaging impact on a child than exposure to adult conflict and constant uncertainty and anxiety about the future. Children's acceptance of a divorce is easier achieved with continued communication throughout this difficult process. Although parents may be overwhelmed by all the decisions and arrangements that need to be made, children need reassurance about their futures and ongoing relationships with both parents.

New Jersey couples who are considering divorce may want to ensure the process causes the minimum trauma for themselves and their children. Many choose to use the services of a professional divorce mediator to address unresolved issues. This process allows each spouse to be supported by his or her respective attorneys to provide valuable input and ensure the best interests of the children are protected throughout.

Source:, "Divorce or Stay? Children Prefer Parents To Split Than Stay Together 'For The Kids'", Nov. 24, 2015

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