Remember to inform the kids of an imminent divorce | Lane & Lane, LLC
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Remember to inform the kids of an imminent divorce

It is often suggested that those most traumatized by a divorce are the children. New Jersey parents may be so emotional by the prospect of coping on their own that they fail to consider how it affects their children. This is not necessarily intentional, and adults sometimes think they are saving the kids the trauma by not informing them of the imminent divorce.

However, keeping the separation or divorce plans a secret may cause the children more trauma than allowing them time to get used to the idea. Parents can agree on how much information to share with the children, and the task may be best carried out by both parents together. There is no need to place the blame on anyone. The only important issue for most children is reassurance that their relationships with both parents will remain intact and that they are not to blame for the break-up.

Children who are informed about the new living arrangements and other changed dynamics may find it easier to accept and adjust to the new life. Parents may also want to limit conflict and ensure that every child gets the emotional support he or she needs. Visitation opportunities must be optimized during the separation period, and the support of friends and family can also help children to process the changes.

Fortunately, there are options to navigate an amicable divorce that may limit the emotional scarring typically associated with contentious divorces. An experienced divorce mediator, along with the support of each party's attorney, can provide a platform for spouses to communicate and negotiate an agreement that will protect the best interests of the children while also accommodating the interests and schedules of both parents. Once a final agreement is reached, each attorney can ensure its legality before presenting it to the New Jersey family court.

Source: goodmenproject.com, "How to Help Your Children Navigate a Divorce", Justin Scott, March 21, 2016

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