Litigated divorce battles not the only option to end marriages | Lane & Lane, LLC
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Litigated divorce battles not the only option to end marriages

Litigated divorces can be costly, and a New Jersey woman who was desperate to get out of an unhappy marriage agreed to terms that she would live to regret -- only because she could not finance a divorce trial. After 10 years of marriage, she wanted to leave her husband. As part of their divorce settlement in July 2014, she agreed to pay her former husband about $186 per week for the next six years. Apparently, he was not working at the time.

The woman, who is now battling cancer, claims to be struggling financially and submitted a motion to lower her alimony obligation. It was denied. In the meantime, she has been making regular weekly payments by check, with notes in the memo line that are not very complimentary. She claims that notations like 'bum', 'loser' and 'adult spousal support' are merely notes to herself and should not concern other parties. Nonetheless, her ex-spouse filed a lawsuit, alleging that the barbs inflict emotional distress and constitute harassment.

Her former husband's law firm reportedly posted one of her checks on its Facebook page with her last name obscured, claiming they will put an end to the harassment. This was apparently followed by a cease-and-desist order, directing her to stop the demeaning notes. She says she has now taken to writing an acronym of which only she knows the meaning.

These antics may convince others in New Jersey to explore different options for ending a marriage. Bitter battles can be avoided by consulting with an experienced divorce attorney who can explain different options for alternative dispute resolution. Many divorcing couples choose to utilize the services of qualified divorce mediators who can facilitate negotiations. The parties, alongside their respective attorneys, are encouraged to actively participate in the mediation  process in order to achieve an equitable settlement. 

Source:, "Ex-Wife Sends 'Bum' Checks for 'Adult Child Support'", Polly Davis Doig, Dec. 20, 2015

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